| Chopped Liver Productions | Terror Level | ||
| EXCITED! | |||
| Is it safe? Have they left yet? | |||
| Internet News Satire Video Commentary |
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Is The USA Falling Apart? It sure seems like it, and maybe that’s for the better. March 11 2010: Polls consistently show that the majority of Americans approve of President Obama, want health care for all and are in favor of the stimulus that saved the country’s economy -– but then there are the whiners who want no part of anything that might move America forward. So let’s let them have their own countries! Let’s build ‘em a series of islands where they can all reinforce their flawed mutual assumptions. It might look a little something like this:
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Is Sarah Palin GOD???
March 9 2010: The Bible quote above proves that God and Sarah are one and the same. They both write on the palms of their hands, and they both believe in building walls. Coincidence? I think not. Also, note that the quote is from the Old Testament -- so if you happen to be Jewish, you still have to believe in Palin's divinity. Even in the face of this obvious evidence, I wasn't convinced right away. I had to pray about it. "Yo, God," I prayed mightily, "Sarah, is that you?" A mighty clap of thunder sounded. The skies opened, and a mighty hand descended from the heavens toward me. I was frozen, unable to move, as the great hand of heaven pointed straight at ME! As I struggled to catch my breath and tried to believe what I was seeing with mine own eyes, the Almighty Hand slowly opened. And there I saw the writing. It said:
As if that weren't enough, God's voice boomed across the land and spake unto me, saying: "Don't know what I'm gonna do in 2012. Keepin' my options open, you betcha. We need to ..."and suddenly God paused, then cast an omnipotent glance at the palm of the hand and continued: "... lift America's spirits." "America definitely could use a lift," I agreed with the Almighty, "but I don't know if we can wait till 2012." "SILENCE!" God cried out, with a voice that split one of my eardrums. "Perhaps you will not have to wait. Maybe Obama's death panels will send you to your great reward before that time!" "I'm more likely to get there if we don't get health insurance reform this year," I wryly observed. And that's when God got real chatty. I learned all kinds of holy crap about God's early days, and how when anyone in the God family was sick they'd all jump in the station wagon and drive up to Canada for a heapin' helpin' of that gawdawful socialized medicine there also; God chuckled, "Isn't that ironic?" "Do you think?" I replied. "A little too ironic. Yeah, I really do think." So now I'm starting to wonder if maybe God isn't really Alanis Morrisette ...? It makes sense. Alanis is Canadian, and maybe God doesn't want all us Americans hogging up all their universal health care like Sarah's family did. |
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| Check out our latest editorial in the Daily Censored, "Dear America: Welcome to the Third World" | Janice Leber, Chopped Liver Productions |
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Let's Get Fashionable. Sarah Palin Virtual Paper Dolls Strikes Again! March 1 2010: The very day we unveiled the original Sarah Palin Virtual Paper Dolls, the New York Times ran an article speculating on what a Sarah Palin paper doll would look like in other people's wardrobes. We immediately began speculating on that ourselves, and in the process of our research, we discovered to our happy amazement that there are a LOT of women running countries all over the world. It makes the U.S.A. look pretty backward, frankly. |
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Prognostications. | |
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| August 2010: |  At a tense arms negotiation, Obama turns the drinking water into a hearty but delicate pinot noir. The resulting good cheer brings about a historic peace agreement. The world rejoices.
Republicans accuse Obama of alcoholism. |
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| December 2010: |  While on vacation in Hawaii, Obama spots a surfer in the distance waving for help. Before his presidential detail can react, Obama sprints across the surface of the water and yanks the drowning man into his arms, administering mouth-to-mouth resuscitation as he jogs back to shore on the ocean surface.
Republicans accuse Obama of homosexuality. |
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| April 2011: |
The Republicans accuse Obama of playing politics and demand to see the bill for the lunch. |
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SEPARATED AT BIRTH? | ||
| Andre Bauer | and | Ebenezer Scrooge | |
 "My grandmother was not a highly educated woman, but she told me as a small child to quit feeding stray animals. You know why? Because they breed. You’re facilitating the problem if you give an animal or a person ample food supply. They will reproduce, especially ones that don’t think too much further than that.” |
 "I don't make merry myself at Christmas and I can't afford to make idle people merry. I help to support the establishments I have mentioned: they cost enough: and those who are badly off must go there ... If they would rather die, they had better do it, and decrease the surplus population." |
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| South Carolina Lt. Governor Andre Bauer, up and coming Republican (2010) | Ebenezer Scrooge, heartless creation of Charles Dickens (1843) |
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January 22 2010: Panties are all a-bunch over the election of Republican Scott Brown to Teddy Kennedy's old Senate seat. Sure, it's the end of an era and marks the further decline of the human species and all, but what has the punditocracy worked into a lather is the fact that Brown's election takes away the Democrats' biggest advantage. Now the lefties quiver and the righties rejoice at the notion that Obama won't be able to take advantage of the Democratic super-majority in the Senate. It really makes no difference. Obama wasn't using his advantage anyway. |
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The Reverend Pat Robertson Explains It All To You. January 14 2010: Why Haiti? Why now? Only God knows ... and Pat Robertson. He'll tell us all why hundreds of thousands of utterly innocent people must suffer, die, and mourn. God reeeeeally knows how to hold a grudge.
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| P L E A S E B E G E N E R O U S |
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| Text 'HAITI' to 90999 to send $10 to the Red Cross. | ||||
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| Feel the need. Fight the greed. | ||||
January 20 2010: Imagine, if you will, if you can, imagine for a moment that you were the victim of an injustice. Let's say you were accused of a unspeakable crime you did not commit, and through a miscarriage of justice and in the wake of an unfair trial you were convicted. You ended up on Death Row. While you sit in your lonely cell contemplating your miserable fate, your life goes by. Your children grow up, get married, have children and grandchildren, while you are locked in a cell. Your only companions are poorly educated felons and the occasional friendly guard. How long would it take you to crack? How many years could you sit there, knowing you were wrongly convicted, wondering how your family was faring, before you ran out of things to think about and succumbed to madness? Could you make it nearly thirty years? Mumia Abu-Jamal has been in exactly that situation, on Death Row in Pennsylvania, since 1981. He was accused and convicted of killing a police officer. He says he didn't do it, and I believe him. I mention all this because yesterday the Supreme Court overturned a lower court ruling that Mumia deserved a new sentencing hearing. The noose hangs a bit lower over Mumia's head today. But when Mumia looks up, his focus rests on the state of the nation. Mumia has used his time in prison doing what he did before they locked him up: Committing journalism. Think you know what's going on in America and all over the world? I can guarantee you that Mumia, sitting there in a prison cell far from most news sources, is better informed than you are. For all his deprivations, he continues to watch and comment on world events. Granted, in doing research he has the gift of time -- but he does not put the gift to waste. I got to meet Mumia (here's the background on that sordid tale), and I know his mind never rests. On Death Row he taught himself to read and write French. Someday he might meet someone who can teach him how to pronounce it, and then he'll be fluent. He has also continued to keep abreast of and write eloquently about what he has seen from the vantage point of Death Row. Meanwhile, he fights to clear his name and shine a spotlight on the forces that brought him to this sad place. His activism, and his intellect, never rest. "Free Mumia" is a cry heard all over the globe. Whether or not Americans are paying the slightest attention, the rest of the world is closely watching Mumia's fate. Our nation's reputation hangs in the balance. |
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| LISTEN TO MUMIA'S LATEST COMMENTARIES (click here) |
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January 11 2010: Every time there's the hint of a possible terrorist threat, some people start looking for a place to bomb. So, when news came out that the underwear bomber (a Nigerian man who was radicalized in London) had undergone terrorist training in Yemen, certain politicians (i.e., Joe Lieberman and Pete Hoekstra) immediately went on TV to advocate a pre-emptive strike on that poor, confused country on the cusp between Africa and the Middle East. So, it begs the question. The 9/11 bombers took flight training in Florida. When is Joe Lieberman going to demand we start bombing Fort Lauderdale? |
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Court of Appeals: Just Because You're Innocent Doesn't Mean You Can Sue Us For Jailing You. December 11 2009: Today's Oregonian offered up some disturbing news. Brandon Mayfield's suit against the Bush administration for persecuting his family and himself has been thrown out on a technicality. Read the whole sordid story here. The salient points are covered by our 2005 video, which you can watch by clicking here. |
 Terrorist or patriot? The Appeals Court has ruled that Brandon and Mona Mayfield "have no standing" to challenge the Patriot Act ... even after the FBI apologized for throwing Mayfield in jail for something he wouldn't have done in a bazillion years. |
Medicare For All. OK, they've screamed and yelled and brandished their weapons and demanded that government keep its greasy mitts off their (government-run) Medicare. Yeah, they love their Medicare, don't they? Who wouldn't? You go see the doctor, get all the tests and treatment you need, the government covers the cost of everything and you never see a bill -- just like in every other civilized country. So let's stop the arguing and let them know we all want the same thing -- MEDICARE FOR EVERYBODY! Spread the word. Tell your friends. Tell your enemies. Tell the guy in the car behind you. Chopped Liver Productions is here to help! We've created simple signs in PDF form that you can download, print out and post on any appropriate (or inappropriate) surface. |
BUMPER STICKER |
This prints out at 6 inches wide and a hair over 2 inches high. It's designed as a bumper sticker. You can cut it out and post it in your car window or, if you wanna get really fancy, you can purchase bumper sticker stock at an office supply store and slap it on your car. CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE PDF (When the PDF loads in your browser, save it to your computer so you can print it out.) |
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WINDOW SIGN |
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CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE PDF (When the PDF loads in your browser, save it to your computer so you can print it out.) |
This is the cause of my life:
Sen. Edward M. Kennedy, 2008 |
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copyright 2010 
Janice Leber, Chopped Liver Productions
After endless chaos and delay, Obama invites Congressional Democrats to a morning meeting. They just start to find common ground around lunchtime. With half a loaf of rye bread and a can of tuna fish, Obama manages to serve up Salmon Oscar with asparagus and hollandaise to all attendees. Miraculously, the Democrats unite and agree on a strategy to pass universal single-payer health care for all Americans.
How Strong Are You?
