September 3 2010: I'm not a California voter any more, but I remember when Barbara Boxer announced she was running for Senate. I thought, "It'll never happen. Barbara Boxer in the Senate is too wonderful, she'll never make it."
When the Senate was discussing Bush's nasty, illegal little war in Iraq, Boxer kicked some Condi Rice butt. That encounter inspired one of our very first Flash videos, which we are reviving today in Boxer's honor. Look at the photo of the two senatorial candidates -- which one makes you feel more comfortable about the future?
"This election is about someone who's working hard so that we can see the words 'Made in America' again and someone who is proud of her time at HP when she stamped 'Made in China, Made in India' on their products." Barbara Boxer 9/1/2010
Tax-And-Spend Democrats.
September 1 2010: I was just thinking about the fact that Democrats really do tax and spend, just like the Republicans always accuse them of doing.
The only problem is, the Republicans just spend. They don't tax. And that's why we have this stunning national debt. Duh. Why doesn't a Democrat come out and say that?!
August 29: Five years ago today, Hurricane Katrina was doing her worst on the city of New Orleans, and the war on the poor started looking more like genocide. Here's the video we threw together as hearts broke and lives were lost.
My fellow Americans: Never forget.
Chopped Liver Productions Presents ...
Our 'Dr.' Laura Web Page.
August 21 2010: OK, I said I was working on a video of 'Dr.' Laura's diatribe on race relations in America 2010. and I've been doing that. I have spent at least two full days creating an animation, with the soundtrack provided by 'Dr.' Laura's wisdom. I'm about half done, and I am sick, sick, SICK of the "n-word." I never wanted to hear it in the first place, and I sure as hell never want to hear it again.
But while I'm in the middle of this labor of love (or ... something), Schlessinger comes on the teevee and says she's leaving her radio show. Here's another vapid, obtuse right-wing chick ripping off her microphone while simultaneously complaining that her First Amendment rights are being violated.
August 18 2010: Many have wondered why the tea party folks would come out against net neutrality, when so much of their organizing is done on the Interwebs. The answer seemed pretty obvious to us, and we found a spokesperson willing to tell it like it is.
Oh, 'Dr.' Laura, you've done it again.
August 17 2010: I have a long and colored history with Dr. Laura. Oh, should I have said "colored"? Is that politically incorrect?
I wrote an online opinion piece about her in 1997, back when the world wide web was still a novelty, and I got so many responses it filled page after page. Parts of my diatribe got picked up elsewhere, ending up in the New York Times no less, and one lovely afternoon I was standing in line at Coffee People, waiting for a latte, when I heard 'Dr.' Laura mention me. Me! Dr. Laura mentioned ME!!?!?
That's right. My name is "some dingbat with a web site devoted to tearing me down."
Because, of course, it's all about HER. No matter that I may write about war, the environment, hunger, cultural quirks or human foibles -- the only thing that really matters about me at all is that I wrote an article about 'Dr.' Laura in 1997.
Have no fear, Laura fans and Laura foes. I'm working on it. Oh yes, I am working on it now. Stay tuned.
On GAY MARRIAGE and CIVIL RIGHTS.
August 12 2010: When the decision on California's anti-gay Prop. 8 came down, crowds were in the street waiting for the announcement. And when they heard that Judge Vaughn Walker had issued a cogent and well-reasoned reversal of the ban on gay marriage, gay couples spontaneously burst out into wedding vows.
Imagine that: spontaneous wedding vows.
That's how much they wanted the right to wed. That's how dearly they craved that thing some people think they're trying to kill. Gays want to be married if they find the one they love. They want a real, legitimate, lifelong commitment.
And you're against this because -- why, exactly?
The Bible? Oh yeah? Is that the new Constitution? When did that happen?
When I heard about the streets of San Francisco breaking out into spontaneous declarations of undying love, the first thing I thought of was the lunch counter at Woolworth's. Yes. This is a civil rights issue. You have no right to cram your religion down somebody else's abiding love. You have to understand, these people aren't sick. They're lovesick.
Have you ever been desperately in love? Allow them that right.
Or don't. It doesn't matter. It's not your call. The wheels of justice are turning, and the day of gay marriage is at hand -- whether you like it or not.
Hang In There, Robert Gibbs.
August 11 2010: Obama's press secretary is a little frustrated. And he said some stuff. He's not mad at the teabaggers or the racists or the terrorists or the banksters, oh no. He's mad at "the professional left."
I'm certainly no professional so I have no dog in this fight -- but Rep. Keith Ellison of Minnesota, whom I totally respect, is saying stuff back to Robert Gibbs:
"This is not the first time that Mr. Gibbs has made untoward and inflammatory comments and I certainly hope that people in the White House don't share his view that the left is unimportant to the president ... Gibbs crossed the line. His dismissal would be fair."
Ridiculous! Robert Gibbs, don't you go anywhere. Keith Ellison is showing a stunning lack of humor, while his adversary is obviously joking. Here's a little sample of the press secretary letting off a little steam:
"I hear these people saying he's like George Bush. Those people ought to be drug tested. I mean, it's crazy. They will be satisfied when we have Canadian healthcareand we've eliminated the Pentagon. That's not reality. They wouldn't be satisfied if Dennis Kucinich was president."
Uh .. what? WHO says Obama is like George Bush? Nobody I know, that's for sure. Gibbs could not possibly have been serious.
Besides -- I would surely be satisfied if Dennis Kucinich was president. Hell, I was satisfied when Obama became president. But I'm just an amateur left. I guess that's what makes all the difference.
Worst Governor Ever!
August 9 2010: This is why citizen activism is cool. Kathleen Gustafson, a teacher who lives in Homer, Alaska, heard that Sarah Palin was filming her TLC reality show nearby and decided to greet her with a huge banner that read, "Worst Governor Ever." This is a still from the cell-phone video of their encounter. That's Bristol in the red coat, getting super involved in the conversation. (Watch the YouTube video at this link.)
My favorite part is when Sarah asks Kathleen Gustafson what she does and she replies, "I'm a teacher." Mrs. Palin shoots Bristol a look that says, "Oh, well then of course she's a Communist." I immortalized that expression in the upper right there.
Woo-hoo! Women are up to a whole THIRD of the Soup Court!
August 6 2010: It's official: Elena Kagan is going to the Supreme Court. She's not likely to steer the Court off the rocky shoals of right-wing extremism, but she probably won't hurt us -- and she has a real cute smile. So we bid her welcome. Provisionally.
THE GOOD NEWS - AUGUST 4, 2010
Two things to love about America:
1. Due process 2. Equal protection under the law
They're both alive and well today -- and CONGRATULATIONS, GAY AMERICANS AND GAY LOVERS! California's Prop. 8 is not constitutional but gay marriage is. We may all be going to hell, but at least we'll have our legal spouses along for the ride.
Oh, to be in the Castro this evening! Party on, my friends. Party on. All Americans are a little more free today.
'U.S. Finds Most Oil From Spill Poses Little Additional Risk'
Say what?
In this article author Justin Gillis refers repeatedly to a new "government" report, by which he apparently means (I abhor sloppy writing) that various governmental agencies contributed to this report. These agencies have concluded that:
[T]hree-quarters of the oil from the Deepwater Horizon leak has already evaporated, dispersed, been captured or otherwise eliminated — and that much of the rest is so diluted that it does not seem to pose much additional risk of harm.
Yeah, I believe that. Of course. Let's keep reading:
The lead agency behind the report, the oceanic and atmospheric administration, played down the size of the spill in the early days, and the Obama administration was ultimately forced to appoint a scientific panel that came up with far higher estimates of the flow rate from the well.
Why is a government agency trying to minimize the impact of this catastrophe?
Oh, one other question: What happened to that "25%" that was not captured or burned? They have an answer for that too:
Much of the dissolved and dispersed oil can be expected to break down in the environment.
That's right – put one more item on Mother Nature's to-do list. Maybe Mother Nature -- whoever that is supposed to be -- will miraculously disappear all that oil after he/she/they/we reforest the Amazon and put the glaciers back together.
Welcome to the Hotel Arizona.
April 26 2010:
They are really serious about illegal immigrants in Arizona -- so serious, the governor signed a bill requiring police to check ID of anyone who arouses their suspicions by seeming illegal in some way. And to make their point, they're willing to risk general political fallout, economic boycotts, and looking like boobs.
One of the reasons ultra-conservative state legislators cited for taking this action was that the federal government had not straightened out immigration issues. And yet these are the same people who go nuts when the federal government tries to do anything ...! Either they're confused, or I am.
Yeah, probably both. But here's a tuneful video that might help ease that confusion.
Breitbart Character Assassins.
July 26 2010: Anybody you need to have destroyed? We can hook you up.
Now we have proof that Darth Cheney lacks a vital organ. No, not that one.
July 16 2010: We've been on pins and needles, waiting for news about Dick Cheney's health. Turns out he's OK, but only because doctors installed a pump to keep his blood flowing.
You know what they call a pump that keeps your blood flowing? A heart.
We've suspected it for a decade, but now we know Cheney has been walking around without a heart all this time. Now he has a pump, some sort of interim measure that will keep the old coot alive and nasty until somebody donates a real, beating human heart to the former Vice President.
Imagine how different our world might have been had Cheney had a heart before. How would our world be different today if Cheney had been thoughtful enough to turn away from war, compassionate enough to recoil from torture, and hesitant to send random Arabs to Guantanamo?
We wish him the best health he can manage, and hope he'll be up and skulking around again soon.
March 16 2010: Call me Ginny. I am a concerned American citizen from Nebraska, who just happens to be married to Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas. But that is completely irrelevant. I never ever ever ever discuss politics with Clarence. Poor thing, he certainly has enough problems, having to deal with those annoying pinkos, Bader-Ginsburg, Sotomayor, and Kennedy. Oh, the stories I could tell you, if he ever ever ever shared them with me.
But anyway, as I was saying, I am a completely ordinary citizen with no particular political axe to grind, and as such, being so concerned about "President" Obama's radical left agenda and all, I would like to invite you to a Tea Party. We want to restore liberty to this country before it is destroyed by those Socialists, Marxists, Nazis and Fascists in the Obama White House.
As an ordinary, everyday American and patriot, I believe passionately in liberty -- so much so, in fact, that I created Liberty Central. As you can read on our wonderful web page, our organization provides tailored information and inspiring activism that brings people together to protect our country's core founding principles (specifically capitalism, as endorsed by Jesus).
It was in my role as a normal concerned American and a proud Nebraskan that I worked with the Heritage Foundation to recruit staff for the George W. Bush administration in 2000. Back then, there was no way for me to have known that at that very same time, the Supreme Court was hearing the case of Bush v. Gore and ended up deciding that just this once they would throw the election to Mr. Bush. When I heard about that, much later, oh how I laughed and laughed! I was working for the Bush White House just as my beloved hubby was deciding for the Bush White House. What a coinkydink!
Oh, but I keep forgetting my original point, don't I? I want to invite you to my tea party. It will be so very much fun! We'll have some Earl Gray and maybe some Orange Pekoe, plus finger sandwiches and these darling little petit-fours. We'll talk about how much we hate universal health care while we paint little Hitler mustaches on pictures of Mr. Obama. Then we'll watch the Glenn Beck program and weep for our country.
Join us, won't you? Pinkies up, everyone!
A note about our Tiananmen Square video.
June 5 2010: Last year we here at Chopped Liver Productions witnessed a jaw-dropping spike in visitors to our web page a few weeks after we posted this heartfelt video, which details the events leading up to and following the massacre at Tiananmen Square in Beijing. We discovered most of the hits on our site came from China. We were happily surprised that Chinese visitors were able to watch the Tiananmen Square video. Through the summer, China continued to supply some of our most loyal followers.
No more. Apparently Chopped Liver Productions is now banned in China. We have the statistics to prove it.
For all our faults, my fellow Americans, at least we are free to make a poignant point without the government shutting us down. We may have an economic meltdown and oil lapping up on our beaches, but we are able to speak out. The First Amendment rocks.
Internet News Satire
Video Commentary
August 12 2010: When the decision on California's anti-gay Prop. 8 came down, crowds were in the street waiting for the announcement. And when they heard that Judge Vaughn Walker had issued a cogent and well-reasoned reversal of the ban on gay marriage, gay couples spontaneously burst out into wedding vows.
August 11 2010: Obama's press secretary is a little frustrated. And he said some stuff. He's not mad at the teabaggers or the racists or the terrorists or the banksters, oh no. He's mad at "the professional left." 
August 9 2010: This is why citizen activism is cool. Kathleen Gustafson, a teacher who lives in Homer, Alaska, heard that Sarah Palin was filming her TLC reality show nearby and decided to greet her with a huge banner that read, "Worst Governor Ever." This is a still from the cell-phone video of their encounter. That's Bristol in the red coat, getting super involved in the conversation. (
Say what? 
